


Stubborn.

by jaebaehyung



Category: GOT7
Genre: 1:31AM, 2Jae, Babies, GOT7 - Freeform, Love, M/M, Songfic, Youngjae-Centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 06:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7156673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaebaehyung/pseuds/jaebaehyung
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm okay, Youngjae. I'll just sleep on it. It will be gone tomorrow."</p><p>Choi Youngjae sees everything.<br/>Choi Youngjae thinks that  Jaebum... he is far too stubborn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stubborn.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the supposed-to-be 2jae duet in #FlyInSeoul  
> Yes, this is based on 1:31 AM
> 
> cross posted on aff

 

* * *

  
_" We're slowly reaching our dreams. We're getting there..."_  
  
_Choi Youngjae found himself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with Im Jaebum's hand in his._  
  
_"Our first win. This feels like a dream."_  
  
_He continued as he hugged  the older and shoved his face into his neck._  
  
_"_ _You've worked hard."_  
  
_Jaebum replied in that beautiful, deep voice of his and even without looking, Youngjae knew that he was smiling._ _"You've worked far harder than I did, hyung. Thank you for everything that you do."_ _Youngjae said with every ounce of sincerity in his heart. He felt the older's breath hitch and he, too, felt tears brimming in his eyes. Before he could actually cry, Jaebum messed up his hair and chuckled._  
  
_"Let's add another dream."_  
  
_He knew that his hyung was usually the worst in trying to avoid emotional breakdowns and  changing the subject in heartfelt conversations but adding another dream didn't sound so bad._  
  
_"What do you have in mind?"_  
_"In our first concert.."_  
  
_Youngjae felt his hyung remove himself from his embrace and sit up to face him._  
  
_"I want us to have a duet. We're going to sing a song that we made together. You're going to look beautiful and captivating while you play the piano and I will be on stage with you, looking chic and sexy as usual."_  
  
_He couldn't help but laugh. 'Jaebum, please'_  
  
_" I want it to have a black and white concept, simple yet a classic. The piano should be white, though..."_  
  
_Youngjae was so happy at the way Jaebum's face lit up talking about it. Youngjae was so happy he wanted to cry but he chose not to. He listened as the love of his life went on and on until they both have drifted to sleep. Cuddling, of course._  


 

Choi Youngjae believes that despite being relatively louder than Mark, he sees everything. He feels. He notices. He notices when Yugyeom and Bambam put their guard up and use humor as a defense mechanism. He notices when Jackson feels offended by a swift remark but laughs it off anyway. He notices when Jinyoung frowns in disappointment one second and smiles widely the next when the younger ones don't follow him. He observes that even though Mark himself said the contrary, he does feel a sense of responsibility as the eldest. And lastly, there's Jaebum. He sees Jaebum more than everyone else, much more than what he would've liked. Youngjae always tells himself that he is equally close to all of the members but he knows he's lying because Jaebum is far too close for his comfort. He notices when Jaebum's eyebrows move a bit closer together but move away when he catches another person's eyes on him. He feels it too when Jaebum experiences pure bliss, complete despair and everything in between; in between like pain. 

 

  
_ "Youngjae, what if we broke up?" _   
  
_ Choi Youngjae felt his heart drop when he heard those words coming out of Im Jaebum's mouth. They were in the recording studio and he was playing the piano with no tune in mind. Jaebum was sitting in front of the table across the room. Youngjae wanted to ask again but he heard it too clear. _  
  
_ "Why? Are we breaking up?" _  
_His voice cracked and he was surprised when he felt tears streaming down his face. Then, there was silence._  
  
_Ever since JYP told them that they were going to have their first ever solo concert in April, there have been changes; room arrangement changes to be exact. Yes, they have left their godforsaken microwave oven for a room. Yes, they weren't sharing a room anymore. Yes, he had been missing Jaebum far too much.  They both agreed that it was the best for the group. There were comebacks in line and it would be better to have the group's best interest at heart. They needed to focus, now more than ever. So, it was everyone's decision. But Youngjae didn't think that this... this could break them up._ _The silence was excruciating. Youngjae didn't want Jaebum to see him cry so he turned his back. He was trying to sink everything in when he felt his hyung not hug him as he was expecting but hit him in the head. Im Jaebum, the one he loves the most, hit him in the head while he was crying._  
  
_"Of course, we aren't, silly."_  
  
_He turned around and saw Jaebum standing beside his chair, staring at him with a grin. All of his sadness minutes ago turned into anger. 'To think that he had the nerve to smile'_  
  
_"THEN, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!"_  
  
_Youngjae said as he stood up and took one step closer so he could hit him continuously in the chest._  
  
_"YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK. I HATE YOU. WHY DID I EVEN FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU?! YOU ARE SUCH A JERK. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO MESS WITH ME WHEN IT'S PAST MIDNIGHT AND I HAVEN'T GOT ANY SLEEP."_  
  
_It angered him more that Jaebum was laughing throughout his whole screaming fit. But all anger disappeared when he felt two arms embrace him with a surprising warmth that he never felt before._  
  
_"I love you, Youngjae. You're so cute."_  
  
_He lost all sense of self-control and hugged him back._  
  
_"You listen to me, I would never ever break up with you."_  
  
_Youngjae used to believe that he wasn't a crybaby and that he was emotionally stable but thinking how crazy he must have looked in a span of five minutes made him think that he needed to reassess himsel. He cried upon hearing those words. The relief spreading throughout his chest was overwhelming and it had been days since he got even a sniff of Jaebum._  
  
_"Then, why did you say it?"_  
  
_Youngjae swore that if Jaebum didn't have a good enough reason, he was going to kick his ass. Okay, maybe, he'll ask Jackson to do it._  
  
_"PD-nim just texted me and he said that since the others are going to be making hyped-up songs for the concert, you and I should sing a heartwrenching ballad to balance it out. He said it should be about break-ups and goodbyes to tug on everyone's heartstrings. I thought it was a good idea. But then it dawned on me that because I've been madly in love with you for the past two years, I can only write a song when the song is about you. And we can't break up. We promised each other that we're going to write the duet together so I asked you  'what if we broke up?'. I wondered what you would say if ever so we can use it as lyrics."_  
  
_Youngjae couldn't believe the power that Jaebum had over him. He was feeling so many things at once. He was so in love yet so annoyed at the man holding him._  
  
_The annoyance caused Youngjae to push him away._  
  
_"Then, you should've just started the conversation with that!"_  
  
_But the love caused him to take the older's hand, drag him to the table and write the damn song._  


 

Youngjae clearly remembers that it was a month before their concert when he noticed his beloved leader touching his lower back with a pained expression on his face. They were practicing "Fly" and "Home Run" endlessly with the intention of not letting their fans down. He brushed it off, thinking that maybe Jaebum slept in a wrong position. When they were roommates, Youngjae used to wake up surprised with the older's sleeping mechanics so he figured it was nothing. But it was later that day when he realized it may be something more. 

Jaebum touched his  back 27 times in a span of five hours. Youngjae counted like a freak. The older had lower stamina than usual and he only spoke when he had to get everyone else's attention. He looked like he was in a rush, like he wanted to get it over with. Youngjae wanted to just ask right then and there but he gave it the benefit of the doubt. He didn't want to make a fuss out of something that he wasn't completely sure of so he held it off. He held it off until they were back in the dorm. It was hard to catch the right timing since the apartment was a considerably small space for seven people and their respective baggages. So Youngjae was glad to take his chance when he found Jaebum sprawled on the sofa, playing with the piano in his phone, while everyone else was playing in the maknae's room.

"Hyung."

He said as he sat on the sofa. Jaebum turned to look at him and moved himself upward so his head was on the younger's lap. Youngjae, on the other hand, was trying so hard to stop himself from running his fingers through Jaebum's hair. Three years in and he still can't believe someone as beautiful exists. 

"Hyung."

He asked again when Jaebum continued playing the piano. This time, the older hummed in reply.

"Are you okay?"

At this point, Youngjae lost his inner battle and was indeed running his fingers through the perfection.  Jaebum finally stopped playing and looked up at him.

"Of course, I am. Why would you think that I'm not?"

The older smiled as he replied. Youngjae suddenly felt nervous at the sight. It wasn't a genuine smile. It didn't reach his eyes. He was hiding something; something that was wrong.

"It's just that I've seen you touch your back a lot today. Does it hurt? Are you sure you're okay?"

Youngjae decided to ask again because although Jaebum is stubborn, he would never lie to him. Jaebum sat up and put his arm around him. 

"I slept wrong last night. But I'm okay, Youngjae. I'm just tired."

"If you say so, hyung.."

Youngjae looked at him and prayed that he was telling truth.

"Speaking of tired, I am exhausted. I'll go and head to bed."

Jaebum stood up and was about to walk away when Youngjae stopped him.

"You're okay? You're sure?"

Jaebum kneeled down to his level.

"I'm sure. I'll sleep on it. You should go and sleep too. Today was consuming. "

Youngjae took a deep breath and said "okay." Jaebum must've seen the doubtful expression on his face and gave him a kiss on the forehead for assurance.

" It will be gone tomorrow. "

And Youngjae let him go because they both needed the rest. Jaebum should be thankful they weren't roommates anymore because that wasn't convincing enough for him. Youngjae followed suit and went to lie in his respective bunk. He slept thinking about the newly-added reason on his list on why he and Jaebum should still be roommates. 

 

* * *

Many tomorrows came, they were  going through their 'Home run' promotions and the number of how many times Jaebum touched his back in a day increased to over a hundred. He even did it in front of fans. Youngjae kept asking and Jaebum kept on denying. It was alarming how many times Youngjae heard the words "I'm okay, Youngjae. I'll sleep on it. It'll be gone tomorrow" from Jaebum the past few weeks. It felt recorded and it felt like Jaebum was tired of answering. Honestly, Youngjae was tired of asking too but he wasn't satisfied with the answers he was getting because he knows it wasn't the truth. He knows Jaebum's in real pain. He knows but he still prays that he's wrong, he prays that he wasn't in pain. Because if he really was, it would mean that he was  lied to. It would mean that Jaebum didn't trust him enough. It would mean that Jaebum was far more stubborn than what he imagined.

Youngjae prayed for it every night. 

* * *

 

Both his asset and liability, Youngjae never woke up on his own. It always took something loud and special for him to get the hell out of his bed. He loved how his members wake him up. Sometimes, it was borderline abuse but he found it sweet. Especially when Jaebum did it. 

So imagine the anxiety and shock Youngjae felt when he was awakened two days before their solo concert by a piece of glass crashing to the floor and a loud scream; Jaebum's scream.

"IT HURTS! IT FUCKING HURTS! I CAN'T GET UP! WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I GET UP?"

Youngjae shot out of bed only to find his members in chaos. Jinyoung was standing frozen in front of the door frame to Jackson and Jaebum's room. There was a broken plate right in front of him. Mark was close to tears while the two youngest were already sobbing. 

"I know, Jaebum hyung. Don't move too much! Shit, we don't know what's wrong!" Jackson screamed. 

"Mark! Jinyoung! Do something!" Jackson said with probably the loudest shout he could ever muster. Jinyoung rushed towards Jackson to help control what sounded like a hysterical Jaebum. Mark took out his phone and Youngjae figured it was him calling their manager.

Youngjae couldn't bring himself to walk towards the room the love of his life was in, not when his heart was breaking into pieces. Was this really happening? Youngjae prayed that it was a dream. No, Youngjae prayed that it was a nightmare. His vision was clouded, his world was spinning. He didn't understand. 

"I called manager. He's coming. We're heading to the hospital."

Mark announced and Youngjae lost it.  His knees gave out and he didn't know what to do but he did kno w what was wrong. 

It was everything.

* * *

It turned out to be a herniated disc.  The doctor said Jaebum wouldn't be able to perform at their concert.

Youngjae chose not to come to the hospital but the uneasiness and the fear he felt was much more than it would've been if he came. He knew he made the wrong choice so he decided to go to the dance studio, shut off his phone and practice to death. The atmosphere at the dorm was too much for him to bear. He was mad for so many different reasons at so many different people. Jaebum lied and kept it to himself, no one apart from him seemed to notice but most of all, he was mad at himself. He didn't try enough. He should've followed his gut and dragged Jaebum to the hospital before any of this happened. He should've. He could've. But he didn't.

He screamed at the top of his lungs, knowing that nobody will hear it anyway. He was supposed to be happy. His group was going to have their first solo concert ever; a sold-out one at that.  He should've been feeling the rush but how come time never felt this slow? He was supposed to be ecstatic that his dreams, their dreams, were going to come true. This was everything he ever worked and sacrificed for.

That's when Youngjae realized that living the dream didn't guarantee happiness, not when the one you made it with wasn't living it with you. 

Youngjae realized that everything wasn't enough, if everything didn't include Jaebum.

 

* * *

Youngjae decided to come home after midnight. It was officially a day until the concert so he wasn't expecting anyone to be up but he found the love of his life by his bedroom door.. on a wheelchair. The sight broke him more, if that was even possible.

"What are you doing up, hyung?"

He tried to ask nonchalantly.

"Waiting for you. Where did you go?"

Once again, Youngjae felt different things all at once. 

"Away."

Youngjae was on the verge of having an emotional breakdown and Jaebum was pushing all of his buttons.

"Youngjae, please don't be difficult."

HE WAS THE ONE BEING DIFFICULT?! This was unbelievable . Jaebum didn't just say that to him.

"I'm not being difficult. I'm okay, hyung. I'll sleep on it. It'll be gone tomorrow."

"Youngjae, you know that's not true."

"Well, now you know how it feels."

With that being said, he walked past Jaebum, slammed the door and went straight to his bed. And finally,  the moment the whole universe was waiting for, he was crying. He regretted his words. He didn't mean it, not at all. His feelings got the best of him. He wasn't sane enough. He kept replaying the scene in his mind over and over. Youngjae stared at the door wanting to go wherever Jaebum was and tell him he's sorry, tell him just how much he does love him but he didn't.

He should've. He  could've. He would've. But he didn't.

* * *

It was finally the day of the concert. Youngjae hasn't talked to Jaebum since that morning. Their schedule made it easy for him to avoid Jaebum, not that he was actually trying. Two years of practice worked because he didn't know how he got through the rehearsals. He was dancing and singing without thinking. He thanked the heavens that somehow, his body moved way before he even thought about moving. The atmosphere between the members changed, though. It got a little happy and a lot more hopeful. Although all of them were questioning how they will be able to push through, Jinyoung said something, as they were waiting the backstage,  that brought back a spark. Youngjae had been chanting it internally ever since he heard it.

"There will be a huge space in that huge stage but there will be a huge audience with people we love, people who love us and people who brought us to where we are today. It's easier said than done but let's do our best for every single person that's going to be out there. Let's do it for our fans, let's do it for our families and most of all, let's give it our best  for Jaebum because if he had the chance, he would do the same."

Youngjae was brought back to reality upon hearing the stage manager's voice.

"GOT7, we're ready for you!"

Their music came on, the crowd went wild and Youngjae felt shivers down his spine at how bittersweet it all sounded; how bittersweet he felt. Youngjae knew that he had to make do.

For their fans. For their families. For Jaebum.

 

* * *

Mark and Jinyoung nailed their stage. He was so happy for them but he, too, was sad because that could only mean one thing.

It was time. It was time for him to sing a song made for two... alone. It was time for him to make his dream come true, without Jaebum.

Their vcr was playing and just hearing the melody made him emotional.  The lights went on, he took a deep breath and he sang his part.

What he heard next shook him. It was Jaebum's voice and the feelings came rushing in.

His relationship with Jaebum had been a rollercoaster. From the first time they met, Youngjae had fallen. Jaebum brought him places he'd never been, made him feel emotions he didn't know existed, made him do things he never imagined he could. Jaebum made him fall in love in a way he thought he was incapable of but most of all, Jaebum loved him wholeheartedly when he was unworthy. 

The crowd chanted Jaebum's name after his part. 

Youngjae believed that he sees everything. He notices and he feels.

But that's when it hit him. That's when Youngjae actually opened his eyes.

He saw the fans crying, crying more than he ever did. That's when he realized how selfish he had been. He wanted to laugh at how funny  and petty his problems were. He kept going on and on and about how Jaebum didn't tell him, how Jaebum lied to him. He couldn't believe how stupid he was the past few days.

Jaebum didn't tell him not because he didn't trust him. Jaebum didn't tell him because he didn't want to let him down. As a matter of fact, Jaebum didn't want to let anybody down. He knew that he was the center of it all and losing him would leave us all devastated. He endured all the pain, he kept it all to himself because he knew what love was. Jaebum kept it to himself because he knew what loving meant. Loving meant being there and staying there. Loving meant doing anything in your power to avoid causing pain. Loving meant putting yourself second sometimes. Most of all, loving meant having the heart to do something wrong for you to protect the right people.  Youngjae realized that to love was all Jaebum did. Jaebum did lie but he did it for the fans, for the members, for their families.... Jaebum lied for him. Although Jaebum failed to be beside him, he did everything to try.

As the song was coming to an end, every single person was close to tears.

He was supposed to sing his last line but he lost it. He teared up.

"I'm sorry."

He was sorry to the fans because he wasn't able to sing the last line. He was sorry to his members because he knew how inconsiderate he must have been. He felt sorry to Jaebum because he was the one who didn't trust the older enough. He felt sorry to Jaebum that he only realized it now. 

Choi Youngjae realized that Im Jaebum was not only his. Choi Youngjae realized that Im Jaebum will never be fully his but he was fine with it because being loved by someone as wonderful and as unfaltering as Jaebum was more than enough.

 

__ _"So what if we broke up? What would you want to tell me?"_   
  
_Im Jaebum asked him. Youngjae honestly didn't know what to say because he didn't want to think of that ever happening._  
_"I would probably tell you to be well and be healthy, hyung. You're the type to take care about everyone else and forget about yourself. I would tell you not to get sick."_  
  
_He let his mind speak. Jaebum looked pleased at his reply though as he started writing on the notebook._  
  
_"Interesting. What else would you want to say to me, Youngjae?"_  
  
_Youngjae thought about it one more time and he figured that if they break up, he wants Jaebum to remember him._  
  
_"I would want you to remember me, remember my smile, remember the good parts. Remember the time we had each other."_  
  
_He nodded. He was amazed at how easy he could speak his thoughts when it was Jaebum that he was talking to. He, then, wondered about what Jaebum would say._  
  
_"How about you, hyung? If we broke up, what would you tell me?"_  
  
_Youngjae felt his heartbeat double when Jaebum took his hand and held it ever so tightly._  
  
_"I would tell you that I will always be here for you. Before everything else, you were my family. You are my family. If you ever had a hard time, if ever you needed me, I would be there."_  
  
_Youngjae felt heat upon his cheeks. God, this love has got him blushing._  
  
_"What else, hyung?"_  
  
_"I would say you can come back because remember what I said earlier? we can't break up. What we have is far too real and special to lose. We can be apart but I'm sure you'll come around because it's you and me we're talking about. We're meant to be together."_  
_Youngjae's heartbeat tripled._  
  
_"I would say I'd wait, Youngjae."_

 

Time flew fast and they were about to say goodbye when the Intercom suddenly read that they had a special guest. 

A few words later and there he was.

Im Jaebum, the love of his life, was standing.

And suddenly, he felt far too many things again. He felt worried, thankful and captivated.

Youngjae swore that he was just as breathtaking as the first time he laid his eyes on him. Everything was a blur and all that Youngjae could hear, see, think and breathe was Jaebum.

His hyung apologized a million times and he promised he would come back two times better. Youngjae chuckled at the bluffing.

"The kids did well, right? Youngjae, he did well alone, right?" 

Their eyes met one swift moment and he gave the brightest smile he had ever given.

Jaebum smiled back.

Youngjae knew that this was just the start. There would be harder times ahead but all he wanted to do now was love Jaebum the way he now knows how. All he wanted to do was be there and show Jaebum how much he really loved him. 

Youngjae still thinks Jaebum is far too stubborn b ut in the stubborn-selfless kind of way.

So he figured that about that dream of sharing the stage and singing that duet, he successfully came around.

Now, it was time to wait because they were meant to be together, even on this stage.

Choi Youngjae can wait.

For Im Jaebum, Choi Youngjae will wait.

* * *

* * *

 


End file.
